It's Christmas time again. The holiday season filled with parties, presents and cheer. Tis also the season of stress, chaos, frustration and disappointment.

Often during this festive time, we lose ourselves in the demands of the holidays. Our perceptions, beliefs and mindset of how things "should" be, leave us exhausted and unhappy. We know this because come January second, there's great relief and a desire to get back into a routine.

The high expectations we place on ourselves and others, are all based on the beliefs we hold in our mind. Beliefs about the perfect dinner, wrapped presents, greeting cards, homemade vs. store boughten cookies, dreams of children behaving like angels, the house sparkling clean from top to bottom, the perfect holiday dress. These expectations of what the holidays should and ought to be often cause disappointment and stress. We begin to feel incapable or less than, ready to say Ba Hum Bug rather then Ho Ho Ho.

We get our beliefs, expectations and shoulds from a number of sources; family, friends, school, work, society and the media. Many we absorb and take on as our own without even questioning if they work for us or not. And some we come up with on our own through experience.

These beliefs may be disguised as tradition, ritual, and "I should, they expect, I must, if I don't." Many traditions date so far back, no one in the family knows why they do them anymore. Consider for a moment what is on your holiday to do list. What is on that list that you really want to do? What is on that list that supports your conscious intent and vision of how you want to celebrate the season?

Beliefs are important; you need them. Everything you say, do, feel or think is based on your beliefs. Are your beliefs enhancing your life, or sabotaging you?

Next time you hear yourself say "I should" ask yourself "Why?" If the answer supports your conscious intent, great! If not, it's time to change the limiting and outdated belief holding that "I should" in place.

Imagine for a moment the Christmas and holiday season you really want to experience. The one that works for you. What does it look like? What does it feel like? What does it sound like? All this is possible when the beliefs held in your mind support the vision.

Tradition is fine if you consciously choose to follow it. If tradition and ritual don't work for you anymore, this year rebel! Do it your way. Choose store boughten cookies over homemade, buy gifts from the heart rather then from expectation or pressure. Stay home with your inner family circle rather then trudge for miles to dine with people you hardly even know. If having a few burned out lights on your Christmas display makes no difference to you, let it go-don't worry about what the neighbors say.

This year give yourself the gift of freeing your mind from its subconscious chatter of how things should be, must be and have to be. Fill your mind with positive beliefs that support you and the vision of the Christmas you truly want. One filled with love, peace, hope, joy, magic and a lot of HO HO HO.

Esther Bartkiw is a Certified Associate Practitioner of Core Belief Engineering a profound and life changing belief therapy. Visit her website at www.changefromwithin.ca or call her at 905-630-4471. Printed November, 2006 in the Bronte Villager, Oakville, Ontario.