Nobody likes to be alone during the holidays especially around Valentine's Day. It's particularly tough to suddenly become single at this time of the year. The pressure of having a special love to romance and celebrate with can be too much for some people. While it's not good to deny your pain and hurt, you can survive flying solo even when you weren't expecting it. Here are five tips to help you get through it and make positive change for the future.

1. Avoiding making snap decisions or conclusions. When we are wounded emotionally we have a tendency to make sweeping dramatic statements such as: "I'm not pretty enough. No one loves me. There must be something wrong with me." When left unattended, these reactive statements become your core beliefs and sabotage you in future relationships.
   
   
2. Realize you weren't dumped, your ex just made other choices. The label of being dumped evokes thoughts of helplessness and of being a victim. Neither of these mindsets is beneficial for moving on. When you acknowledge that your ex simply made other choices it softens the blow and gives you the encouragement to make choices of your own.
   
   
3. Feel your emotions and release them. Burying emotions has no long term benefit. They often return at a later date stronger then ever.
   
   
4. Write down everything you loved about your former relationship, the person you were with and what you loved about yourself in the relationship. Use these positive statements as encouragement to help you move forward and attract a more suitable and fulfilling partnership.
   
   
5. Write down everything you didn't like about the relationship, your ex and about yourself during the time you spent together. This information will help you to realize why the relationship didn't work and why it's not worth eating a container of ice cream over. It will also help you to pin point what beliefs and behaviors you need to change to get a different result next time around.
   
   

Hurt can be healed and better relationships can be developed when you love and believe in yourself. In order to create the loving relationship that you want, first love yourself completely and unconditionally. Then examine all the beliefs that you hold about relationships, the opposite sex, your ability to function in a relationship etc.The beliefs and emotions you come up with will give you a good indication of what is helping you and what is hindering you in creating fulfilling relationships. Change those negative beliefs and behaviors and create an internal peace and harmony which will support you in the achieving of your goal.

Esther Bartkiw is a Certified Associate Practitioner of Core Belief Engineering, a gentle results oriented psychotherapy that works to change beliefs systems. For more call 905-630-4471 or visit changefromwithin.ca.